friends, family and people you fight, all in one day

Ah, the weekend is here, glorious joy to the world, and the flat is already clean! Hurrah! So I got up early and got a big pot of coffee on the go, because this always a good idea before you head off to spend the day digging in a place with no loos, hell yes.

It was a beautiful day, lapis skies, one of those really spring-like ones, which, er, yeah… it’s Autumn. Already I’ve seen my first big flock of starlings over the park behind the hospital, and only last night I looked up from the laptop to see a V of geese high overhead. Ah, my favourite time of year! And then soon it’ll be winter, which should nicely coincide with winter being my favourite time of year, and so forth. Hurrah!

And I got a load of stuff done, and had an excellent time doing it. I moved the last of the currants to where they will get some sort of light (now I have to find something that loves shade and will grow in Scotland, hahaha. Actually, I have such a crop in mind. And it’s totally not anything illegal!), I planted out all the strawberry runners me Chestnut-haired Old Mother kindly potted up for me. I even had time for a big long chat with the lassie who invited me to come draw naked people last week. Hurrah! She showed me round her plot, which is large and very fab and told me she’s bi. Ah. Suddenly my whole, Hee I hope that wasn’t a Date! thing is rather less funny now. It’s bad enough trying to turn blokes down tactfully…

On the other hand, she cannae remember my name. I am fairly sure that if she was interested in me in that way, she’d have no difficulty there, so she’s just a naturally friendly, giving person and everything is Fine. Right! On with the digging!

I was just about to start digging in all the green manures for the winter when my phone went.

Aha! As usual, Mr Twenty-minutes Warning is giving me twenty minutes warning of his impending arrival! Or, translated: my wee bro is on his way down with the carpet bits me Chestnut-haired Old Mother told him to give me for the compost heap. It takes approximately as long for me to get home on foot from the Allittlement as it does for him to drive to mine, he always texts when I’m at the Allittlement, and he never listens when I say, I have somewhat of a life, you know and need more sodding notice than this. Bollocks!

I packed up and ran home and just got there before he did. Then we got in the car and went back to the Allittlement to drop off the carpet.

Right, drop me at the roundabout then if you’re going to the mall, I said as we piled back down the road; but it was not to be for he was meeting his girlfriend there, her phone was dead so she had his and he reckoned he’d need mine in order to find her. Argh, once more my plans are thwarted by relatives. Though in this case it is a relative who just did me a favour, so I am kinda being a grouch here.

But: the shopping centre. On a Saturday afternoon. This is The Fear In Supermarkets writ large! And how. We could not find a parking space at all, despite driving round and round for half an hour, in a convoy of everyone else who was looking for one. I wanted to climb a pole and video the whole thing for future generations. You wonder why there is no stuff? We wasted it all on THIS!

Mercifully, by the time I got hold of my wee bro’s girlfriend on his phone, she was just coming out of the supermarket, so we swung by, picked her up, and fled the carnage.

How long do you need to get ready to go out? asked my wee bro’s girlfriend while I made them a cuppa; which was unfortunate because I said, half an hour, which was true but did not cover things like, eating dinner or finishing sorting the wine. And indeed, half an hour was all I got, for they stayed right up to the crunch point. Hee. But it was nice to have them over for a chat and we have made plans to do so again. And my wee bro’s girlfriend wants me to take her to trapeze classes, which is very sweet but, er, I can’t afford trapeze classes unless I flog some artwork, insert hollow laughter here, and I promised I’d google stuff for her (wait, why did I do that? Anyone can google! Oh well).

They had a big argument about which of them is the messier, which was really funny. And it was a very pleasant afternoon that I am grouching about here, so, yeah, belt up woman!

And run like the wind! I has the fightclub charity night out, and I has to get ready and feed my flatmate’s cat and pack a handbag and put on makeup and stuff! I had time to grab a piece of cheese on my way out the door, and indeed, that was all I managed to eat all day.

My nerves had clearly gotten the better of me by the time I arrived, for my stomach was starting to really hurt; and I would have been on time too if it wasn’t for that pesky address. I spent a good twenty minutes running up and down the road the venue was supposedly on, but there was nothing there except a giant hedge. Behind which, it turned out, the bowling club was. Ah. The entrance is on the other road.

Still, it confused the Cute Chick too, so it weren’t just me. And there was a really great turn-out – the Well-ard Chick was already steaming and shouting for me to drink shots, not pints, but my stomach was killing me, and the pain only got worse as the evening progressed. By halfway through, I was starting to worry that I’d suddenly have an alien chestburster explode out of my intestines and ruin the night for everyone. However, I managed to have a good time, though the smile was probably more of a wince. Watching the raffle was hilarious, trying to find the loos was hilarious (the door opened directly onto the carpark) watching everyone get busted for smoking by the Cagefighter was hilarious, mainly cos he threatened to kick their arses individually and collectively and I got let off cos I am Known To Smoke, and I shamelessly blagged a lift home off the cute Polish one. Who was driving because he has a paragliding course on Arran tomorrow. Dammit, I thought I was doing quite well in the ‘interesting life’ stakes there for a minute!

Still! A lift home, I got in before midnight and did not turn into a pumpkin, and now for the finale: pain, meet the Tums!

The Tums did nothing.

Well, would you adam and eve it. I took a whole bunch more anyway, on the grounds that they’re mainly chalk and went to bed. That was a very fabulous day, but oh, the running around!


About beshemoth

Mainly making art, making wine, writing and gardening. Having a life only as the above allows.
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