oh look, a protection racket cometh

Lo, my deductions of imminent wellness were completely inaccurate. The lurgy has gotten into my ears, courtesy of the ear-manacles I have to wear most of the day for work (in a department where we work to cure these very bits! Innit ironic?!)

Okay, they’re not really manacles, they just have a grip like unto that of a man-trap. Somewhat. They haven’t cut my head in half, for instance – it just feels like it at the moment. Oh how I wish I had the old, furry ones that just sit against one’s ears, but apparently they have been Discontinued, and anyway, they were so old they had rips in the furry bits, so one of them fell off into the puddle of pee when some wanker peed through the office letterbox, what are the odds.

This is your healthcare system at work. Do not be afraid, it is Important that our standards of accommodation are shit, so this money can instead be spent on your health and care. I just wish that it didn’t feel like a bloody great steel spike’s been jammed in me lug.

On the other hand, be afraid, because I spent forty-five minutes just sorting the printing this morning? Jeebus! Cos the printer is miles away, so it makes sense to print everything off and then go get it in a oner. Or it would, if it wasn’t that some things need an extra copy and some have attachments and that’s the phone, panic panic, wait, did you hit print before you spent five minutes duelling with the Public there? Who knows! So you have spend rather a lot of time checking everything when you get it all back. Oh wait, I wasn’t meant to say anything negative about the new building. Woo, go go lack of fire regs! Go go incredibly complicated sorting out!

Bah, I so am not up to this. I feel like a flag on a day of no wind. Maybe this living off green tea and lemonade is not all it cracked up to be.

I spent my break moving money out of the savings account. Ah precious savings account, once again you are sadly denuded, but I have actually had a reply to my letter about the Scaffolding Bill, oh isn’t it interesting how fast things move when you mention Finding Out What Your Rights Are.

Shorter reply: Well yes okay, everything on that bill was inaccurate; but you still have to pay up, so give us a call if you want to do it at a massive rate of interest, eh?

Bah humbug.

Of course, since I had no warning of Massive Scaffolding Racket, whoops, bill, there is no guarantee there won’t be more scaffolding every second month for the rest of my life; unless I go out and spend their demanded dues on a sniper rifle (I bet that’ll keep em off, at least until the riot squad arrive). That’s the problem with protection rackets, whoops, factors. They could at least have replaced all the rusty bits of the rusty gutter they claim they fixed!

No wait, why bother when they can come back with more scaffolding and do it another time?


I also had to raid the savings because I put me flatmate’s deposit in there years and years ago, and she will soon be needing it back. The deposit money is safe, cos I have not touched the account since. On the other hand, years and years have passed since I even saw my damn PIN number, oh eek, that’s a potential problem!

Nope: I still have access, woo! That coulda been embarrassing. So now I’m broke, but I’m still an upstanding citizen. Or something.

Really broke, in fact – got in tonight to find a letter saying me mortgage rate’s expiring. Aieeee! Now panic not, woman, you can easily secure a nice low rate with someone else just by giving them umpty-hundred quid. What’s that? The factors want the umpty-hundred quid? Well, that’s you screwed then, panic away.

Instead, I bottled off all the strawberry cider while listening to a CD I hadn’t even remembered acquiring, and a jolly pleasant evening it was too. Early night, though – I be as full of energy as over-cooked spaghetti, but I am still taking it on the chin with a grin, what!

(‘A thousand words of moaning’, you say? That is a Dour sense of humour, dammit. Nobody understands me!)

I have the horrible feeling, however, that being cheery and optimistic in the face of the death of a thousand financial cuts is only going to antagonise the Powers That Be. I can expect more of the unexpected in the future then. I know, I know, I could shortcut the whole process right now by curling up in a ball and saying uncle (possibly), but I’m a bloody-minded moron, what.

Besides, I have a terrible sense of curiosity about where this is all heading…


About beshemoth

Mainly making art, making wine, writing and gardening. Having a life only as the above allows.
This entry was posted in cheese with that?, forever coming down with something, homebrew. Bookmark the permalink.

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