life is all cheesecake and Costco cards

Hmm. This week’s productivity has not been the Mae West. Well, at work it has – I am all bang up to date, taking work off people, firing through the filing overtime, it is safe to say my own bodyweight in files is being hauled out of here three times a day. And I have put in so much overtime that, well put it this way; I get four weeks plus public holidays. Having spent a fortnight in the US, had long weekends scattered like confetti and being about to spend a week on the Continong, I still have four weeks to take before April. It’s not exactly Lawyer-length hours, right enough, but it’s enough that I am definitely looking forward to a break!

However, at home, I R is rubbish right now. My flatmate has even done All the dishes two days in a row, a perilously unbalanced situation which could damage the very fabric of the universe if it continues!

Good thing tonight is Cleaning The House night.

And there are other things I really should be getting round to. For instance: the cheesecake!

Thanks to the state of me jaw, I cannot open my mouth far enough to eat cheesecake. It is not even a particularly fat cheesecake. Ah, this must be the pleasure spiked with pain that the Chillies sang of.

I have to say, it sucks.

Wait, that gives me an idea!

Okay, that did not work particularly well. Let us instead turn our attention to the stash of mini cheddars.

Nope. It is an effort to get even one of those things between my teeth. Dammit! Right, lunch shall consist of the soup-and-sarnie special. Soup, I can manage, and those wee sarnies are crustless and cut small enough that I can roll the ham ones very flat indeed, using the thermos as a giant rolling pin.

Culinarily, this is far less than satisfying. Perhaps I can puree some chilli for dinner tonight.

Despite all this, the sense of hope and of good things being just around the corner is staying with me, which is odd. I thought I was feeling kinda down at the moment, which is a natural state in the scheme of things and must fall upon us all from time to time; particularly when we are post-viral, in pain and don’t mind the overtime really (as long as we are not in the Spider Place) cos things are kinda tense in the flat.

However, during the day I am actually really happy. And why not! I have a big* office to myself, I have tunes on the radio, I am warm and have worked out a way of having coffee plentifully available, I am working hard and actually getting somewhere with it! The hammer has not yet fallen, I have lots of calories stashed in the desk drawer (and, someday, a foolproof plan for transferring them to me gob without needing a jack).

*(By which I mean, ‘single person’. There will be the regulation Two employees in here soon enough, however.)

I can also go out for a wee break thrice a day and breathe in nicotine while admiring the slow-turning autumn colours on the trees, which due to some cunning landscaping pan unbroken through nearly a half circle of the horizon. I can walk to and from work through several parks and admire the colours there, too. True, as a passer-by told me today, But you’re damaging yourself! Yes; but the five minutes this takes off my life (on average, or so I have read) is five minutes passed gazing at beauty, rather than being stuck in the office, looking out the precious, precious window at a big grey roof and a big white wall. A waste? Depends on your point of view.

And… while having a scoot round the employees website, while waiting for a blank tape to please god come up with some dictation (headphones turned out to still be plugged into the other machine, hee)… it turns out, I am eligible for… A COSTCO CARD!

Really. VIP pass of the Gods, this, I have drooled over one for years, ever since Cake took us to Costco and we gazed in awe at the mountains of cheap cheese. And here all of us are eligible for one! Why did my colleagues never, ever mention this to me? Withholding information of this nature is a ‘Smacking With A Dead Fish’-level offence, what!

Cos nobody else bloody knew either, it turns out. Man alive, I have to show folks who’ve worked here all summer where their fire exits are…

Well that buoyed me all the way home in triumph, to where my mood instantly collapsed like a pricked balloon. Ah, this is no good! It took effort to clean the place, and effort to work on this exquisite corpse thing – for godsake, I am drawing hair, which I enjoy doing, and it is just not gelling right now! The hell?

Maybe this is a natural state in the scheme of things too. While there is much to be sorted out, and always will be (hurrah!) I have no pressing deadlines (apart from Germany) at the mo – perhaps this is a good time to sleep lots and recharge my batteries ahead of the next big push.

And so, to bed!


About beshemoth

Mainly making art, making wine, writing and gardening. Having a life only as the above allows.
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