really, some people have a nerve telling the internet about a life this dull

Ah, another day that starts with getting up alone, diving about packing things and stomping in to work through the swirling wind and threat of torrential downpours any minute. I love it! It’s tranquil, despite the weather, and despite still coughing up bits of paintwork. And I’m making the most of it – soon enough, it will be too dark to walk through the park, either to work or back. Le sniff. Le long-cut round LIDL. Le no-looking-at-trees. (Yes, this does actually make me happy, shut up. We all gotta take our pleasure where we can, and my budget’s so tight it’s nipping!)

Ah well, after that, and if recent years are anything to go by, the days should get longer again.

I decided I am not going to draw naked people tonight, due to brokeness and the ongoing effort that is breathing. And I was just deciding it when I ran straight into Cherry, who I had met in the street the other week and invited along to it.

I can’t make it, she said, I’m broke! Next week?

Phew, eh! I had forgotten I had even invited her, heh. Maybe I need to chill out a bit, starting to drop the ball here! And that’s despite not going out last night. I was very glad, actually, that I was a big wuss, whoops, sober and wise person who stayed in. Especially since it did start to absolutely bucket down, and here I do have at least one coat of stain on the living room windows, hurrah!

And especially since my Colleague of Skull Scarves came through to say her hubby had called in to say that gig was a wash-out – there was a huge melee in the middle of the venue and they had to stop playing for ages to calm it all down. Yeah, that was pretty much exactly what I would not have needed in that nick. He thought it might cheer me up to know it. Awww, lovely people!

I spent today trying not to witter too much at my new cellmate (for whom I will soon have to come up with a long moniker that I will regret every time I type it) in case she also gets the hump with my nonsense. God, we have to spend forty hours a week in each other’s presence, more than my flatmate ever had to, the chances – and consequences – of falling out would be devastating for us both!

I also spent today learning that Dr Anonymous has gone AWOL. In the middle of surgery, rumour has it. We don’t know when he’s coming back. We don’t, technically, know if he’s coming back. Jesus, how glad am I to have a back-up consultant now! I could just see it: ‘Well, he’s left, so he doesn’t need a secretary does he? So sling your hook. Woo, we’ve slashed the budget!’

In lieu of having the money to go out, I spent tonight scrubbing down carpet edges in my new spare room and thanking my lucky stars all over again that I didn’t go out last night either – I am at least twenty quid less in debt and also, it’s peeing down and the windows have one, thin coat of stain on. Which is something. But there is something about my life at the moment that I can’t quite put my finger on…

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About beshemoth

Mainly making art, making wine, writing and gardening. Having a life only as the above allows.
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