Disaster Squad’s first mission: the aftermath

I spent this morning: video-editing. Never before have I done video-editing. Never before have I spent the second of January drawing bikinis back onto pictures of me and my mate, either. Hee. I have to say, in the cold light of day I do not half look like Rasputin in this footage – my hair has blown over my face, resembling a long, dark beard. (Hurrah! My identity is still a secret, despite not bothering to get ironically-tiny burglar-masks in). And my god, I am angular. At the shoulders, at the calves… damn. Anyone expecting erotica is going to have a horrible accident, and not in a good way – I, however, am really quite chuffed. I’ll take looking like a well ‘ard mad monk over looking like a water-balloon, for instance, any day of the week.

(Other people are quite welcome to make other choices, however, and I’m all for none of us being judged on them).

And many thanks to Rice Krispies, who not only drove me and all my heavy mountain of crap, whoops, kit, home, but brought me a bacon sarnie and bonus helping of cake. Awww!

Alas, I did not get home till five. Argh! I wasted all four days of my Christmas long weekend, having kinda expected to be at my wee bro’s for only two of those. And yes, I brought the Sums, and everyone very kindly said, Oh stay and do the Sums here! Which was very sweet, but damned if you can do the Sums while helping with the dishes, or helping with the sprouts, or sitting down to a six-course dinner, or, when all else fails, while watching Psycho. In the dark.

(On that note: why did nobody ever mention that Norman Bates is really cute?)

So I have done the Sum total (boom boom) of about two hours of the Sums. And lo, if I had stayed in the pub, waiting for the inexpensive Edinburgh train on Hogmanay, well, I woulda already done more Sums than that. And I was really planning on being in Glasgow for Hogmanay, which would have freed up Thursday evening and even some of Friday, and I was really planning on being back in Glasgow twenty-four hours ago, but the best-laid plans of mice and men something something (this poem is part of my Heritage, I’ll have you know).

It is lovely of everyone to want my company. It is standard procedure for people to eschew my company (or at least, to be busy) when I am feeling lonely, and for them only to want it when I am panicking about time (like now): this is Written, somewhere. Possibly on a great big slab of rock not unlike the ones Moses carried down off Mount Sinai (Commandment the First: Beshemoth is Not Allowed To Get Stuff Done). I am grateful for the fun I have had, really, I am, but when I find where it is Written, I will be doing a lot of editing. Note to self: purchase chisel.

So it comes to this: I now have only two days of my eight days left, have had a lovely time and have done barely a stick of Useful things. It is high time to Get Stuck In!

Is it hell; it’s dark outside already. I spent the evening tidying things up (how did things get messy? They were tidied on Thursday! And the Thursday before! And I’ve only been here two days in between!) I also spent it Panicking. And, searching frantically for my phone charger. Which is definitely not here.

Then I had a brain-wave. Did I not, away back in November while finishing off the hack-work that is the Zombie Chronicles of Nonsense, see if I could get a free upgrade for my phone, seeing as half the buttons are dodgy? Indeed I did. And did I not ever get round to sorting it out? Indeed I didn’t, because it looked Technical. However, needs must, so let’s fire in!

And it would have worked too, if it wasn’t for that phone’s pesky insistence that it is the 6th of January 1980, and no, I may not change the time, nor the date, nor import any phone numbers that post-date my return from France. For which we have just had our four-yearly reunion. So I have twenty Happy New Year messages and no idea at all who they’re from. And I have yet to locate the keypad on this damn thing.

Right! Bed! And pray this does not set the standard for the rest of the year, or I’m really up the creek!

Also, pray that whatever I did to the alarm settings actually worked.


About beshemoth

Mainly making art, making wine, writing and gardening. Having a life only as the above allows.
This entry was posted in Disaster Squad, inadvertent loonytunes admission, so much for plan b. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Disaster Squad’s first mission: the aftermath

  1. lirazelf says:

    I have to ask …. what be the reasons for Disaster Squad’s mission of nakedness & Jerusalem?

    • beshemoth says:

      My mate got naked for Trilogy a couple of years back Well, I guess I did too. They have a site where you can send pictures of you and your mates, in the nip, singing Jerusalem, which is why we were filming it 🙂 We are quite (among) the most hardcore ones! Or, we will be in April…

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