nightmares and escapism

I don’t usually dream at all, due to regulating my sleep at a level just below that needed for remembering dreams, but when I do, it’s a doozy. Hence the regulation. Last night, alas, I had a post-fighting nap followed by a full night’s kip and accidentally caught up with myself. Dear sweet Jesus, the nightmares. Of the twin wheels of death and the hiding and the guys with the bleach and the gas, and then, when it seemed it was all over, of being corralled with a horribly sentient, speedy and pretty-much unkillable (certainly with what I had to hand) zombie-kid by this fat, laughing bastard who was supposedly my mucker, and who thwarted my attempts at escape in more and more blatant ways until I was finally bit. In the final act, the guy actually took umbrage when I picked the kid up and threw it at him.

I woke up too scared to open my eyes for fear of what I’d see, and when I did, for a horrible moment I didn’t recognise my own room at all.

Did not set me up well for the day, all that. However, I was up at nine and, well, the last layer of stain got put on the spare room window. Finally. But I kinda urgently needed to finish Gardens of the Moon, you see. Fiction it may be, but it paints a beautiful (if rather harrowing) tapestry of life that makes mine look quite threadbare and faded. [As it will continue to be until you get a bloody wiggle on and make something of a career, preferably before all your hair is grey – Ed]. And I was sucked straight into it and spat out again at the end, even though my favourite character’s not even in this one. (Or, the next one. Bah! Another book before he’s mentioned again, according to the Dramatis Personae. Yup, celibacy and all, I still cannot exist without a crush, it would appear, and if I do not find one, one will be found For me. And unlike relationships, merely running away is no good, so you just have to ride it out with as good a humour as you can manage.)

I got a good solid afternoon’s work done on the Sums, however. And the place is once again clean. And then, back to bed. Hmm. I seem unnaturally tired. And my throat is unnaturally sore. And that headache all week…. ah BALLS, I’m coming down with something! Again! What lousy timing!


About beshemoth

Mainly making art, making wine, writing and gardening. Having a life only as the above allows.
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